A BOTTLE FULL OF EMOTIONS

I have so far come across 4 different people in my life.

First are the kind who like to talk about what is happening in their lives openly without giving it a second thought, second are those who do not openly tell people what they are feeling but in some way or the other make it very evident that there  is a lot going on in their lives, third are those who do not like sharing and prefer keeping every thought and every feeling to themselves and lastly are those who feel absolutely nothing….or at least they pretend not to but are dying slowly from within because of all the pain that is eating them.

 I think I belong to the fourth category. I may not be that old or experienced to say that I have lived and seen almost everything but I can tell for sure that I have lived through a lot. Most of them happy and some sad.

Have u ever found yourself in a situation where you say or do something to someone really close to your heart but you never meant for it to happen?  In a way it is your brain and heart telling you that they cannot store or bottle up more emotions for you and it is time you empty them and rid them of all the guilt and worry so that they can start filling them all over again. Although most of us don’t  react at the moment we felt bad, thinking that it was just a phase and that you are just going to “try and forget” it or you are going to outgrow that particular incident ……….we all know it never happens. The incident may be in the back of your mind but the memory is easily triggered by maybe revisiting the same place or arguing with the same person. And there is nothing that you can really do to get rid of this feeling. We can however tell the person responsible for all our problems how feel and I’m sure there are many such people to whom we cannot talk about how we feel because we fear getting ridiculed or losing them. In that case according to me its best you keep it within you or start writing it down in a piece of paper and once you've read what you have written- burn it. At first I thought the idea was just stupid and although it cannot completely rid u of that horrible feeling it makes you feel so much lighter from within.

Bottling up all our emotions may be harmful but telling out everything in the open without having any boundaries can be very harmful as well. Who knows someday someone may use it against you. You can call me evil but I am a kind that never forgets anything that you have said or done to make me feel bad and although I seem like I've recovered from it, some day when you try and hurt me again I am going to remind you of all that you have done in the past.

There are many ways of dealing with situations like these or with these emotions and everyone has a different ways of coping and those who do not tend to their unsaid emotions tend to go down a deep rabbit hole of depression and stress and find it very hard to find a way back home.

Isn't it funny....the things we haven't thought about in years still have the ability to make us cry?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

We always desire for something more than we can actually take! May it be something small like a chocolate or something as big as the moon. I've also cried and whined and thrown tantrum for many things,things that i actually did not need! We cannot really blame anyone for desiring something......usually it is power and wealth and lastly comes love!

I moved to India almost three years ago. Even though I belonged to India I hardly visited. The only time I heard bout India was when my father would tell me his childhood stories and the only time I had seen India was when he would show me some of his old pictures. He would always boast about India saying "its a place where money is not what matters, its people's emotions".

Little did my Dada know that the India he is talking about is now hidden behind the selfish desires and never ending greed of the people in India today!

Whenever anyone has to talk about India they talk about the wide range of dialects and diverse culture and tradition that has originated in India. But where are these traditions and where is the culture today? Yes....it does exist but only in some parts of India  and very little effort is being made to protect or spread these dying tradition.

I may be ill-experienced to be saying all this, but a country's true culture lies in the way people of that particular  country behave. India used to be a place where people were warm and hospitable,but now when people talk to anyone its mainly for their own good!

"agar main usse baath karoonga tho mera kya fayda hoga?" this is the thing that runs in everyone's mind! Somewhere in all this greed and commotion is that old India, that everyone talks about, is waiting to be freed.

I am living in a country where the bank interest for Educational loan is more than that of the car loan. As per few statistics it seems that India is having more money in the Swiss banks than any other country which makes India the richest of the world. Who said India is not a developed country? India is a country which is developed in an improper way,With its mammoth population and the problems it is facing like poverty, corruption, rural awareness and the company of greedy politicians daunting any active socialist. 

My Hindi teacher told us a loootttt about this in class today....she kept telling us to fight for a cause and take a stand. But how do we do it is my question. Who is going to listen? will anyone care to support?

Poor Anna Hazare. He tried but we are 'Indians" after all.....its easy to stub our voices and shut us up. Many of us have tried but there is no one to listen to us,that's why most of us have given up. I do wanna make a difference but its frustrating when what you are doing is going for a waste!

Yes yes..........I know what you are thinking "why don't you go do something instead of talking soo much?"

I will ,I will do something when I know its going to make a difference!

DARK SECRETS

All of us have at least one secret which actually remains a secret for a very long time. Most of the times we tend to die with this little dark secret of ours.

In a world where we cannot live without depending on every other person whom we cross ways with,what is the need to hide things. is it the fear of being accepted? or is the fear of being the butt of all jokes?

or are we simply soo scared that we do not even want to try!

Most of the times once we have committed a mistake, we don't even try to make things better! We don't try to rectify our mistakes.....instead we tend to start a series of lies and deceive soo many people on the way that this becomes a whole new secret!!

For some reason when i woke up today i was determined to give my secret, that I've been hiding in this dark place in some corner of my mind and heart, out to the world. I was ready to face the consequences and was ready to take all the mocking and teasing. But...............ah! there always is a "but"..............just when I was going to give my secret out, I realized that if I were to tell this dark secret along with it I would actually have to start explaining my whole way of life! And that was something i wasn't ready to do! 

Sometimes we make decisions that we think is right and that might lead to us getting hurt or some one else getting hurt. In these circumstances it is best that we let these secrets remain a secret forever. 

For who knows.....maybe people pretend to listen only because they are curious and not because they care! or maybe your secret might result in the alteration of a person's life other than your's, in a whole new dimension that you havent even imagined! Now that i think of it............spiderman wouldn't be able to catch the bad guys if everyone knew his secret :-D 

Ah........how exiting it is to be human :p